By choosing a celebrant to lead your wedding ceremony rather than a registrar you’re already onto a winner to make your ceremony personal. But how do you make it that bit extra special? Here are my tips for saying ‘I Do’ in your own way…
Telling your love story
Your celebrant will be keen to tell your love story as part of the wedding ceremony and they will generally rely on you to provide the details. But asking close family and friends to send the celebrant anecdotes about the two of you to add in to your love story is a great addition. You won’t know until the day whether the stories are going to make you laugh or cry, or both. However, that extra personal touch brings your guests into the story too and creates some special moments that might just surprise you!
Another idea is to ask those with long, happy marriages to provide your celebrant with some words of advice for the two of you. I usually include these after your love story, often with hilarious results, and a real insight into those couples too!
Writing your own wedding vows
There is nothing more truly personal than committing to your partner with promises that you have penned. With a celebrant led wedding you can choose to say anything you like as part of your vows. My advice is generally to keep things fairly simple and heartfelt with around six or eight lines for your vows that focus on what is important to you as a couple. Maybe you want to keep celebrating the good times, explore the world together, face the difficult days head on, or simply walk through life side by side. Find out more about writing your vows with my blog.
Including symbolic gestures
There is almost no end to the symbolic gestures you can include in your personal wedding ceremony. From traditional ideas such as handfasting where your hands are tied together with ribbons whilst a hand blessing is read, or a ring warming ceremony where all your guests have the opportunity to bless your wedding rings. Through to more modern ideas like a cocktail blending ceremony where you mix a new cocktail that reflects the two of you, maybe sparkly and warm with a bit of depth! Or a drumming circle for a powerful and fun vibe.
Whatever you settle on, choose something that reflects you as a couple, and that is going to add meaning to your ceremony. Your wedding celebrant should be able to give you ideas that suit you.
Involving your family
This often starts with mum or dad, or both, walking the bride up the aisle. If it’s a big deal for them, I suggest asking them to make commitments to both of you. This is a lovely modern alternative to ‘giving the bride away’. And if you have parents or grandparents with strong marriages, it’s gorgeous to bring these into your wedding ceremony as something for you to aspire to.
If you have children of your own they can obviously be flower people or ring bearers but how about creating a family unit circle? This celebrates you as a family and I love to talk about how it’s a safe place where you are together as one, and where you are listened to and accepted for who you are. Cute.
Including a handfasting brings plenty of opportunities to involve your family. I did a ceremony recently where the couple’s grandmothers and mums chose coloured ribbon to represent their feelings. These were woven into braids for the handfasting which the mums tied on the day. This is also a great option for involving children from previous relationships. They each choose a colour and then tie their ribbons around your hands and state what the colour represents. Maybe yellow for happiness and blue for trust.
And don’t forget your K-9 family members. If your venue is dog friendly your pooch could bring up your wedding rings, or your ribbons for your handfasting ceremony. Or they could be in charge of bringing you a drink from the barrel around their neck with your names and wedding date on. Don’t try this if you have a Chihuahua though!
Bringing the fun to your personal wedding ceremony
The days of your wedding ceremony needing to be serious and official are long gone. It’s your ceremony and it can be as spirited as you choose. So, if you are a fun couple bring this into your ceremony too. Your celebrant could introduce a surprise ring bearer. Here your wedding rings are taped under a guest’s chair and everyone is invited to check if they are the lucky person just before you exchange vows! How about a game of Mr & Mrs with your guests giving their responses by holding up Mr & Mrs cards, or Mrs & Mrs of course. Or you could seal the deal with a shot of your fav tipple once you’ve said ‘I do’.
A good sing along can be great fun everyone’s up for a bit of karaoke style action. Pick a song that is easy to sing and everyone will know, play the original track and invite your guests to sing over the top. Think, The Darkness – I Believe in a Thing Called Love or maybe go old school with It Must Be Love from Madness. Placing song sheets on your guests’ chairs or adding the lyrics to your order of service booklet will make sure everyone can join in.
There you have it. My top tips to make your wedding ceremony truly personal. I’m happy to talk through ideas to create the right ceremony for you, so do contact me.