Category: Weddings

By choosing a celebrant to lead your wedding ceremony rather than a registrar you’re already onto a winner to make your ceremony personal. But how do you make it that bit extra special? Here are my tips for saying ‘I Do’ in your own way…

Telling your love story

Your celebrant will be keen to tell your love story as part of the wedding ceremony and they will generally rely on you to provide the details. But asking close family and friends to send the celebrant anecdotes about the two of you to add in to your love story is a great addition. You won’t know until the day whether the stories are going to make you laugh or cry, or both. However, that extra personal touch brings your guests into the story too and creates some special moments that might just surprise you!

Another idea is to ask those with long, happy marriages to provide your celebrant with some words of advice for the two of you. I usually include these after your love story, often with hilarious results, and a real insight into those couples too!

Writing your own wedding vows

There is nothing more truly personal than committing to your partner with promises that you have penned. With a celebrant led wedding you can choose to say anything you like as part of your vows. My advice is generally to keep things fairly simple and heartfelt with around six or eight lines for your vows that focus on what is important to you as a couple. Maybe you want to keep celebrating the good times, explore the world together, face the difficult days head on, or simply walk through life side by side. Find out more about writing your vows with my blog.

Including symbolic gestures

There is almost no end to the symbolic gestures you can include in your personal wedding ceremony. From traditional ideas such as handfasting where your hands are tied together with ribbons whilst a hand blessing is read, or a ring warming ceremony where all your guests have the opportunity to bless your wedding rings. Through to more modern ideas like a cocktail blending ceremony where you mix a new cocktail that reflects the two of you, maybe sparkly and warm with a bit of depth! Or a drumming circle for a powerful and fun vibe.

Whatever you settle on, choose something that reflects you as a couple, and that is going to add meaning to your ceremony. Your wedding celebrant should be able to give you ideas that suit you.

Involving your family

This often starts with mum or dad, or both, walking the bride up the aisle. If it’s a big deal for them, I suggest asking them to make commitments to both of you. This is a lovely modern alternative to ‘giving the bride away’. And if you have parents or grandparents with strong marriages, it’s gorgeous to bring these into your wedding ceremony as something for you to aspire to.

If you have children of your own they can obviously be flower people or ring bearers but how about creating a family unit circle? This celebrates you as a family and I love to talk about how it’s a safe place where you are together as one, and where you are listened to and accepted for who you are. Cute.  

Including a handfasting brings plenty of opportunities to involve your family. I did a ceremony recently where the couple’s grandmothers and mums chose coloured ribbon to represent their feelings. These were woven into braids for the handfasting which the mums tied on the day. This is also a great option for involving children from previous relationships. They each choose a colour and then tie their ribbons around your hands and state what the colour represents. Maybe yellow for happiness and blue for trust.

And don’t forget your K-9 family members. If your venue is dog friendly your pooch could bring up your wedding rings, or your ribbons for your handfasting ceremony. Or they could be in charge of bringing you a drink from the barrel around their neck with your names and wedding date on. Don’t try this if you have a Chihuahua though!

Bringing the fun to your personal wedding ceremony

The days of your wedding ceremony needing to be serious and official are long gone. It’s your ceremony and it can be as spirited as you choose. So, if you are a fun couple bring this into your ceremony too. Your celebrant could introduce a surprise ring bearer. Here your wedding rings are taped under a guest’s chair and everyone is invited to check if they are the lucky person just before you exchange vows! How about a game of Mr & Mrs with your guests giving their responses by holding up Mr & Mrs cards, or Mrs & Mrs of course. Or you could seal the deal with a shot of your fav tipple once you’ve said ‘I do’.

A good sing along can be great fun everyone’s up for a bit of karaoke style action. Pick a song that is easy to sing and everyone will know, play the original track and invite your guests to sing over the top. Think, The Darkness – I Believe in a Thing Called Love or maybe go old school with It Must Be Love from Madness. Placing song sheets on your guests’ chairs or adding the lyrics to your order of service booklet will make sure everyone can join in.

There you have it. My top tips to make your wedding ceremony truly personal. I’m happy to talk through ideas to create the right ceremony for you, so do contact me.

Every couple wants their wedding ceremony to be just right for them, and when children are becoming part of new, blended families there’s even more to consider. So, what’s the best way to include them in your wedding ceremony? Here’s some ideas to get you thinking…

The Processional

The entrance for your wedding ceremony sets the scene for everything that follows. Assuming one of you will be waiting nervously in front of the guests, while the other walks down the aisle, there are quite a few options to get the kids involved. Maybe any little ones could be flower people scattering petals along your path. Or a ring bearer with your rings, securely fastened to a cushion! Or carrying your train if you’ve got an impressive trail in the making.

How about one of your children accompanying you down the aisle, arm in arm, showing you their support on this big day for you all? Or one child on each arm? Grooms could opt to have their children stand with them at the front along with their best man. Unless of course your son or daughter is going to be your bestie.

If you have budding musicians or singers in the family, they could perform for you as you walk down the aisle. That’s a big ask though, so they need to be well and truly up for it!

Symbolic Gestures for Blended Families

Getting your children involved in the ceremony itself can be a lovely touch to make them feel part of the family. There are plenty of symbolic gestures you can include but here are three that I think work really well…

1. Handfasting. Your children can each pick a coloured ribbon and then choose words associated with that colour which describe their wishes for the family. Eg blue for kindness, orange for happiness (hit me up for the colour wheel). Then they take turns to bind your hands together with the ribbons. Once the ribbons are in place, I’ll read out a hand blessing. As you draw your hands out from the ribbons, it creates a Celtic love knot. It’s a lovely visual element for all the guests to enjoy too, and a keepsake from the ceremony.
   
2. Blended family unity circle. I love this for younger children or if you’ve got kids of a varying ages. You all get together in front of the guests and create a circle, holding hands. Then your celebrant, talks about what family is for you… “this is a safe place full of love and strength”… “it’s where you are accepted for who you are”… v cute. I like to close this with a family hug.
   
3. Sand blending. Each of you has a container with different coloured sand to represent everyone’s unique place in the family. You, the couple, pour some of your sand into a vase to create the foundations for your family. Then your children pour their sand on top and the grains of sand become blended. This represents your new blended family. You and your partner add the last of your sand over the top sealing your family’s love and friendship. Pop a stopper in the top and you’ve got a gorgeous reminder to keep forever.

Words from Your Celebrant

I love talking about the kids as part of the script that I create for wedding ceremonies for blended families. Adding a special moment about becoming a family and what that means for everyone is great. Giving each of the kids a specific shout out in the welcoming words is a must, even if it embarrasses them! For something more low key, including family anecdotes in your love story is a fun way to bring your children in.

I often ask your guests to make commitments to you as a family towards the end of the ceremony for blended families. This is another way to recognise your new family unit without the kids having to do anything if they’d rather not! But if they’re up for getting involved they can stand with you during the guests’ commitments.

They could of course read a poem, there’s lots for kids to choose from. They might even like to write their own poem for the two of you. And a trusted aunt or friend could work with them so it’s a surprise for you on the day.

The Recessional for Blended Families

If your wedding ceremony is as much about your new family as it is about the two of you, then you might want to do something different for your recessional. Instead of being introduced as ‘The Happy Couple or ‘Mrs & Mrs Jones Smith’ you could be introduced as ‘The Jones Smith Family’. Your children stand with you for the closing words so you’re all ready to be introduced at the end. Then you all walk or dance down the aisle as a family to your favourite song. Or the kids go first and then you follow on while your guests shower you all in confetti or maybe bubbles.

There are plenty of options for your wedding ceremony to involve your children so they feel part of this new beginning. Getting them on board might be tricky, especially if they are teenagers. But secretly they’ll be glad you did!

Most of all, have fun with it and do what works for your tribe. Find out more about my wedding ceremony services on my wedding page.

You know that you want a wedding celebrant to lead your ceremony for your special day, and with the personal nature of celebrant led ceremonies why wouldn’t you? But finding the right celebrant can feel like a difficult task as there are plenty of us out there!

So here are my quick tips to help you find the perfect celebrant…

•  A great place to start is on the wedding website directories. There are a few dedicated sites for celebrant searches, The Celebrant Directory and Humanist Ceremonies. While sites like Hitched and Bride Book have great listings for celebrants too.
• Search for wedding celebrants who live reasonably close to you or your venue. Many celebrants will travel long distances but you’ll pay extra for this and there will be someone local-ish who will be right for you.
• Come up with a longlist and do a bit of stalking! What do you think of their own website and social media presence? Have they got plenty of testimonials and endorsements? Who are they accredited by? Does their style match yours?

Arrange a consultation with your chosen few

• Select 3 or 4 celebrants who you like the look of. Drop them a line to check their availability for your date and ask for a Zoom consultation. Most celebrants will be happy to arrange a free no-obligation chat, and they know you’ll be chatting to other celebrants too!
• Use your consultation time to see how you get on and whether you’ll be a good fit for each other. Have they left you with some great ideas and feeling excited about your ceremony? Have they listened to what you want and guided you when needed? If you can answer ‘yes’ to these questions then you’re on to a winner!

• Also check out how they work, and what future meetings you’ll have as part of their fee. You should see a draft of your ceremony script so you can agree everything your celebrant is going to say. And talk to them about your vows too. How will they support you with creating personal vows that mean the world to the two of you? I have a ‘how to’ guide for my couples to set them in the right direction, plus extra help for those with writers’ block!
• Finally, your wedding celebrant should be suggesting a rehearsal for your ceremony. This helps everyone who is going to be involved in the ceremony to know what’s expected of them. You can step through each stage together and practice your entrance. It’s great for settling everyone’s nerves and I like to do this the day before the ceremony if possible.  

Sealing the deal

• If you think you’ve found the right celebrant get them booked ASAP. The date is only secure in their diary once you’ve signed your agreement and paid the deposit. Although most celebrants will hold the date for you if you express your intention to book, it’s best to get everything firmed up as soon as you’ve made your decision.
• And you’ll want to check their agreement feels reasonable too, what is their policy around changes due to events such as COVID-19? Because you just never know what’s around the corner!

And that’s it. Good luck with your celebrant search and have some fun with it too.

If you’re not really sure why choosing a celebrant led wedding is the best choice you’ll make for your wedding day, check out my Celebrant Led Weddings blog for all the deets.

Currently in England celebrant led weddings aren’t legally binding. So why do thousands of couples every year choose to have their wedding ceremony officiated by a celebrant instead of a registrar?

There are of course numerous answers to this question. Here are a few of the main reasons couples choose to tie the knot with a wedding celebrant leading the proceedings.

Getting personal

Celebrant led weddings dispense with any of the ‘must have’ elements. So your ceremony can include anything you choose and couples love the personal feel celebrants bring to ceremonies. One of my favourites is to include the couple’s love story. Telling how you met, early dating anecdotes, that romantic proposal and your hopes for the future. And reading out secret words you’ve written previously about each other is a really special moment.

Adding symbolic gestures into a wedding ceremony is also really popular. And I love conducting hand-fastings for my couples. Here your hands are bound together with ribbon while a blessing is made. Did you know this is where the phrases tying the knot and binding agreement originate? It’s a gesture steeped in history too. If you’re bringing families together a sand blending is a visual treat for everyone. Or you may like to involve all your guests in a ring warming. They take it in turns to imbue your wedding rings with love and wishes and the rings are ‘warmed’ when you come to exchange them.

Naturally you can include poems, readings, songs, exchange of your wedding vows and your wedding rings. But these can all be in any format you choose and you can write your own vows to share with each other. Your celebrant can help if the thought of having to write something fills you with panic!

Time is on your side with celebrant led weddings

There are no time constraints with celebrant led weddings. You won’t be rushed through for the next booking. So, without making it so long that your guests get fidgety, you can take as long as you like. I’d suggest that 45 mins is long enough with 35 mins being about right. Plenty of time for lots of personal and memorable elements without everyone straining to get to the fizz and canapes!

This means you can add extra elements to your ceremony that might take a bit of time. How about getting everyone on their feet to sing – karaoke style – to your favourite song. It’s an amazing moment with everyone singing their hearts out and sounds fab. You’ve also got time to involve friends and family more in your ceremony. There are lots of options here. Your parents could give you a blessing or your friends could share a memory or marriage tip for the two of you, which can be quite entertaining.

Location, location, location

Aha, the reason most couples choose celebrant led weddings – ‘cos you can marry anywhere you choose! There are no constrains as long as you have the land owner permission. I’ve conducted ceremonies in a woodland copse (so romantic), a family farm which added to the many memories already held on the land, country estate hotels like the stunning Wotton House near Dorking in Surrey, a private island on the Thames where the groom arrived by speed boat, a trendy wine bar in London, and numerous back gardens. I’m still waiting for an invitation to conduct a ceremony on a remote mountain pass or a vineyard in the Dordogne, but I am sure they will come!

Most couples have a single venue where you have your ceremony and celebrations together. This makes it easy for all your guests and great fun too. If a festival style wedding in a field with a festival bar and food, billowing bell star tents and dancing under the stars appeals, then a celebrant led wedding is certainly for you.  

You’ve done the legal bit already

Maybe you married abroad or during lockdown without all your friends and family with you to celebrate. Having a celebrant led wedding followed by a wedding breakfast let’s you share your wedding with everyone you choose. And no-one has to miss out on the special moment that you say ‘I do’, or the after party! It doesn’t matter when you did the legal bit. You can re-create your ceremony or create something completely new for your celebrant led wedding. Read more about this in my Re-weddings blog.  

But most couples who decide on a celebrant to lead their wedding do so because their ceremony will be just as they want it. Your legal wedding could take place in the days or weeks beforehand at the registrar office. Invite just a few of your nearest and dearest sharing the day with you. You can save exchanging your wedding rings for your celebrant service, and just do the legal bit. This can cost as little as £50. Or you could opt for having the registrar marry you at your wedding venue, assuming there is a licenced area, after your celebrant led wedding.

The choices are endless really, and that’s why you should bother!

‘Re-wedding’ is a word made for Humanist wedding ceremonies!

If you chose to have your legal wedding abroad or witnessed by a few of your closest family then a re-wedding might be just the thing for you. Celebrate just the way you choose with all of your family and friends at the centre of your plans.

Your re-wedding venue

This can be anywhere you choose. Whether that’s a festival style wedding in a summertime field, a rustic country barn setting, or a gorgeous hotel on the banks of the Thames, and everything in-between.

Celebrate in your own style

I suggest taking a bit of time out to think about what you’d really like for your re-wedding. Consider the sort of venue that feels right and the atmosphere you’d like to create. Maybe your guests would love a relaxed party vibe with some games the best dance tunes rather than a formal wedding breakfast.

Your re-wedding ceremony

And what should you do about your wedding ceremony? You are married, and you’re wearing your rings to prove it. But you’d like your family and friends to share in the special moments when the two of you make promises to each other. To make up for this, many couples plan a celebrant-led wedding ceremony for their re-wedding. And these promise to be even more special than their legal service.

You can choose exactly what you’d like included in your wedding ceremony and involve your family and friends . You can create your own wedding vows centered on what you’d like to promise each other, and choose your own words for your ring exchange too.

You might like to add some symbolic gestures such as a ring warming ceremony. Here your guests take turns to hold your wedding rings and charge them with love and wishes for the two of you. Or maybe a handfasting with ribbons tied by your family as you make promises to each other would bring a fab visual element to your ceremony, you can read more about handfasting here. Another great way to involve all your guests in your re-wedding ceremony is to get everyone on their feet singing. Pick an easy song that everyone knows like ‘It Must Be Love’ from Madness and do it karaoke style! I guarantee everyone will get into it and you’ll create a really magical and fun moment.

If you’d like your re-wedding to feel like ‘the real thing’ you can also sign a marriage certificate with witnesses signing with you. This is a great moment for some fab photos too. And don’t forget to think about how you’d like to be introduced at the end of the ceremony. Are you going to be ‘Mr & Mrs’ or maybe you just want all your guests to ‘big it up for the happy couple’.

Choosing a celebrant

Your celebrant will be happy to talk through ideas and suggestions and to create a ceremony that reflects the two of you as a couple and the vibe you’d like for your re-wedding ceremony. If you’re not sure how to find the right celebrant, the Celebrant Directory will have the perfect person for you and lots of great tips too. Or you could, of course, just give me a call!

Good luck with your planning, and do drop me a line if you have any questions.

You’ve set your heart on a celebrant led wedding, the personal and relaxed style is just what you want and it’s a perfect fit for your venue. But how are going to convince your family that it’s every bit a proper wedding ceremony?

The majority of over 50s probably aren’t aware that celebrant led weddings are an option, and very few will have been to one. After all, they have only really gained in popularity across England during the past 10 years, although they have been available for decades for those seeking an alternative path to a church or registry office wedding if you knew where to go.

I’ve enjoyed many conversations with great aunts and uncles over a glass of fizz after the ceremony who’ve told me: “We’d never been to a celebrant led wedding before but it was the most wonderful wedding ceremony ever!”

What to Tell Fact Lovers About Your Celebrant Led Wedding

So, you could just tell your sceptical relatives that they’ll have to come along on the day and see what it’s all about but it would be great to get them on side and excited for your big day. For those practical relatives you want to fill them with facts:

• Over 1000 couples in England choose a celebrant led wedding each year
• Those who choose a Humanist celebrant to led their service are the most likely to remain married!
• There are no rules about what has to be included in your wedding ceremony so it’s much more flexible than a religious or registry office service
• Celebrant weddings can still include vows, exchanging rings, poems and readings, and a certificate singing with witnesses,. But they are more personal than the other options available and you can add symbolic gestures or cultural elements to your ceremony just as you choose
• No, it’s not legally binding in England at the moment but it’s important for the two of you to celebrate your special day in the way that suits you in the place of your choice. The commitments you make to each other on the day are real, these are your promises to each other for life

What to Tell Romantics About Your Celebrant Led Wedding

And for those relatives who have a romantic side, they’ll be swooning if you weave these suggestions into your conversation:

• Celebrant led weddings are so romantic as they are designed and written around the two of you, your love for each other and what’s important to you
• You get to write your own heartfelt vows that you can surprise each other with on the day, with a bit of writing help from your celebrant if needed!
• Ceremonies usually include your love story so your guests will get to relive the anecdotes from your early days together and that romantic proposal all over again
• You could include romantic symbolic gestures such as a ring warming where they will get to hold your wedding rings and warm them with their love and wishes for you both during the ceremony. This can be coupled with with the more traditional exchange of rings and certificate signing which will make for gorgeous photos
• Your wedding ceremony will be in the exact spot you choose, maybe a woodland copse, a beach, or your parent’s back garden. A setting that is special to you brings extra meaning and emotion to the day

The Final Word

But probably the most important thing to tell anyone who has reservations about your choice is that your celebrant led wedding is something you’ve got your heart set on. You want a personal wedding ceremony that’s been written just for the two of you. And it includes everything you want – whether that’s singing, poetry or a hand fasting – while you commit to your future lives together in front of the people that mean the most to you. Surely that will win them over!

Good luck with your conversations and let me know how you get on in the comments below.

If you’d like to find out more about my wedding ceremony services visit my weddings page for some inspo and check out my FAQs page too.

A handfasting brings visual intrigue to your wedding ceremony, and for many of your guests it will be the first time they have seen this ancient tradition.

If you step way back in time to 12^th Century, handfasting was part of every marriage and the couple’s hands were bound together using ribbons or cord. This is where the age old phrases of tying the knot and binding agreement originated, and today there are plenty of modern twists on this very special symbolic act. My favourite options are the Celtic Love Knot and what I like to call the Ribbon of Promises. Let’s look at each of these in a bit more detail…

Celtic Love Knot

The Celtic love knot involves the bride and groom clasping their right hands together, with pulse points touching, and two ribbons are wrapped around their hands to bind them together. I then like to say a hand blessing, describing how these are the hands of the person who will love you and hold you, and wipe away the tears of happiness as well as sadness, and still be reaching for your hand when you are old and grey. Once the blessing is complete, the couple pull their hands from the ribbons holding onto the ends and a Celtic Love Knot is created to bring the two ribbons together.

Sarah and Andy married at The Humble Grape in London where we used four different coloured ribbons for the Celtic Love Knot. The colours for each of the ribbons were chosen by school friends of the bride for their symbolism such as green for honesty and independence and indigo for trust and respect. Each of the friends bound their chosen ribbons around the couple’s hands and explained their symbolism; it was a really special and somewhat emotional part of the ceremony!

Ribbon of Promises

If you would like to involve close family or friends in your wedding ceremony then the Ribbon of Promises is a great option. I love to include it when existing families are coming together and the children of the bride and/or groom make the bindings. In this version of a handfasting ceremony the couple clasp their right hands together, once again with pulse points touching, and a ribbon is placed under the thumb of each. The ribbons are then gradually wrapped around the couple’s hands as they make promises to each other. After each promise, the ribbons are passed over their hands and a knot is tied underneath, this is repeated for each promise – four times is perfect. The groom then holds the ribbons where the final knot has been made and the couple both pull their hands away for the ribbons to create a chain where the knots have been made after each promise. As well as making those close to you a special part of the ceremony, it’s a bit of theatre for your guests too!

Shelley and Emma had a small registry office wedding in the early afternoon followed by a surprise handfasting ceremony for a much larger group of family and friends, who thought they were just attending the wedding breakfast upstairs at The Joker in Brighton. Shelley’s daughters bound their mums’ hands as they made promises to each other and to their daughters, a really lovely moment in their day.  

So there you have it, my brief guide to including a handfasting as part of your wedding ceremony. You can read more about my wedding services on my wedding ceremonies page, or drop me a line at stephanie@silverbeeceremonies.co.uk if you’d like to find out more.

There are plenty of ways you can involve your family and friends in your wedding ceremony so they feel part of your special celebration. Here’s a snap shot of some new ideas and those which are steeped in history but with a modern twist…

• Having your Dad ‘give you away’ may seem like a thing of the past but many Dads still like the idea of walking their daughter up the aisle – and you might like Dad’s supporting arm too! Dad can give a commitment, rather than giving you away, like bestowing his love and warmth on to you as a couple and wishing you every happiness in your journey through life together

• Couples often have divided opinions on including songs during wedding ceremonies for all your guests to join in, but this can be a real winner. Arrange it karaoke style so you have the song playing for everyone to sing a long to, with song sheets provided, pick an easy song that everyone will know and prime those guests beforehand who you know will enjoy getting involved

• Ceremonial fires are fab for woodland/festival vibe weddings and can provide a special closing feature to your ceremony. You and your partner are passed flaming torches and you walk around your prepared unlit fire, words from your celebrant are optional here. Then you light the fire and invite your guests to add a wooden disc with your initials stamped on to the flames, making a wish for the two of you as they do so. Thanks to Tash and Laurence for the inspiration for this one!

• A ring warming ceremony is a great way of involving all your guests, assuming you are exchanging wedding rings. At the start of your ceremony your celebrant will introduce the concept of the ring warming ceremony and ask for the rings to be passed amongst all guests. Each guest takes the rings in their hand and privately bestows a wish or their love onto the rings. Once they have been around all guests the rings are warmed ready for your ring exchange

• Readings and poems can create real poignant moments in your ceremony, or add a bit of fun, depending on the reading selected. Asking the person giving the reading to select something of their choice works well as they will read something they are comfortable with and they have chosen for you. Two or three readings incorporated into your ceremony is just right

• I like to ask guests to make a declaration as part of the ceremonies I deliver. This will come towards the end of the ceremony and guests can either respond ‘We do’ to a question asked, or read together a short declaration from a printed sheet. They are giving their commitment to support you both as active friends and families in your future lives

• If you would like to involve a small number of close family members in your wedding ceremony, maybe children or your siblings, you might want to consider hand fasting or sand blending. These symbolic gestures, which can involve you making promises to each other and your family, have great visual impact and provide keepsakes of your day. Find out more about these in my symbolic gestures blog

• A candle ceremony can be a gorgeous way to involve everyone towards the end of your wedding ceremony. Everyone is given a small candle when they take their seats for the ceremony and when the time comes, the celebrant lights the candle of the first guest, they in turn light the candle of the next guest and so on. Once all of the guest candles have been lit the last person comes up to light a single unity candle for the happy couple. Guests then form a lighted walk way for the couple to pass through. Fab for evening weddings